Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Long Zayn Imagine

#Imagine your life had been hell the last few months. You was constantly revising for your exams and you was being badly bullied, but you had never told anyone. Not even the boys, and they were your best friends. You had been best friends with all the boys ever since you had been little, you'd all been to primary school together, but you all left to go to different high schools. Everyone made fun of you because the lads were your only friends. They called you awful things, and you believed everything they told you. You wanted to end your life because you just felt like you didn't want to be here anymore. You had wanted to do it for a long time, and you knew that, that time would come soon enough.
 You was sitting at home one night, wrapped in a blanket sitting on the sofa, crying. Suddenly the phone rang and you walked over to answer it. You had gotten good at covering up your tears as you had been doing it for a long time, so you took a deep breath and answered the phone.
 'Hello?' you said, trying to sound as bright and cheery as you could.
 'Hiya babe, it's Louis,' he said on the other side of the phone.
 'Oh, hiya,' you said as you wiped the wet droplets off your cheeks.
 'Me and the lads were wondering if you wanted to come round for a bit, like a sleepover or something?' he asked. You felt a huge smile spread across your face as you heard Louis say this.
 'Yeah, I'd love that, I'll be round,' you whispered down the phone.
 'Alright babe, see you soon,' he said as the line went dead. You grabbed your keys off the kitchen counter and walked towards the door, you was only wearing your jogging bottoms and a t-shirt but it didn't really matter. It was only the boys, they didn't care what you looked like. You didn't need to take anything to the boys' either. You always borrowed their clothes, most of your wardrobe was filled with some of their clothes that you still hadn't given back. But they didn't mind, they always said that you looked nice in their clothes, and it made you feel warm inside when they did that. You walked around to their apartment where they all lived together. You didn't knock on the door, you were all that close that. You opened the door and shouted 'Hello!' to make the boys aware that you had entered. You heard 5 voices shout back and you walked into the living room to find them all sitting there. They were all sitting on the sofa and you walked over to go and sit next to them. The sofa was kind of an L shape so you could all see eachother with out anyone feeling left out. You was all sitting around; talking, laughing, doing everything that you usually did. It felt amazing, you leant back in the sofa, your neck sinking into the cold white leather. You watched Zayn as he laughed at Louis being stupid. He was just unbelievable. You had tried to tell yourself that you felt nothing towards Zayn, but there came a time when you couldn't even fight the feelings anymore. You had fallen for Zayn, but it was fine. You was learning to get over it, and you was sure that it would happen in time. He glanced over to you and looked at you.
 'What's wrong?' he asked, breaking you out of your stare so that you realised that all the boys were in fact looking at you.
 'No, nothing,' you said, shaking your head smiling.
 'She's trying to stare through your soul Zayn,' Niall said, taking another hand of the popcorn that was in the bowl on the coffee table. Niall had eaten most of it so there wasn't much left. You all laughed including you.
 'Aha, nah she's just trying to decide what wedding dress she's doing to wear in her and Zayn's imaginary wedding,' Louis said. All the boys laughed but you just looked at them confused. Did they honestly know about your crush on Zayn? But how could they, you hadn't told anyone. You just looked at them all confused and shook your head.
 'What?' you said as your voice broke. They all started laughing again and you felt your cheeks flush a red colour.
 'Ahaha, we know about your little crush?' Niall said through his laughs.
 'What are you talking about?' you said as your eyebrows furrowed.
 'We know you like Zayn, we've known for ages,' Louis said. Your eyes shot over to Zayn who was looking everywhere but your eyes.
 'So, the question we all wanna know Zayn. Will you go out with her?' Niall said. As he did you felt your body start to shake all over. How could the boys do this to you, you thought that they were your friends, and they were making you more embarrassed as ever.
 'Well?' Zayn said in what you thought was a sarcastic tone. You was turning so red it was becoming to feel uncomfortable. You stood up and glanced round the room at the boys. They were all still laughing a bit and you stormed over to the bathroom that was on the other side of the room.
 'Oh, come on! We was only having a bit of fun!' you heard one of them shout as you slammed the door behind you. Your back fell against the wooden door and you slid down to the floor. The tears were pouring out of your cheeks and you bit your hand to stop yourself from making any noise. You didn't want the boys hearing you cry. You was crying so hard that teeth marks were appearing in your skin. Your life just felt like it couldn't get any worse. It was honestly horrific. You peered around the bathroom and saw a little cupboard just above the toilet. You stood up and walked over to it. You opened it up and saw a razor standing at the front of the door. Perfect. You picked it up and looked at how sharp the blades were. You walked over to the bath and knelt down to the bath. You moved the razor up to your wrist and felt the cold metal against your skin. Your hands were shaking like mad and the tears were still pouring out your eyes. Suddenly the bathroom door burst open but didn't flinch. You was just about to slide the blades across your skin, but someone grabbed it out of your hands and you heard it drop on the floor. It was Zayn. You turned around to him and collapsed into his chest and you both fell to the floor, and you cried. No, in fact you screamed, louder than you ever had done before. You screamed into his chest and the tears seeped out of your eyes and into his shirt. You was sat on Zayn's knees and his arms were wrapped around you. One of his hands was on your waist and the other was on your waist. He was rocking you back and forth and you felt the tears drip of his cheeks onto the top of your head. You sat like this for a while.
 You had stopped crying now and you just layed in Zayn's chest. He had stopped crying as well as his chin was resting on your head. You quickly glanced over to the door and saw all the boys sitting outside the bathroom, there cheeks all looked wet as well. They had been watching you and Zayn the whole time. They were all sat cross legged. You lifted your head of Zayn's chest and looked up to him. He looked down at you and then took his hand of your head and wiped away a few loose tears that were on his cheeks. You looked up at him and he looked down at you.
 'You know I'd never let you harm yourself, you know that, right?' he said, still rocking you back and forth.
 'I'm sorry,' you said into his chest, barely a whisper.
 'You're so important to all of us,' he said as he glanced over to the boys. They all nodded and then Zayn looked back at you. 'We all love you so much... especially me.' You sat up off of Zayn's legs and wiped away your tears.
 'What?' you said, a little confused.
 'I love you so much, I always have,' he whispered moving his head towards you, but you moved back.
 'N-no,' you said, moving your head away from Zayn. He moved back in shock.
 'What?' he said, his eyes widening.
 'You just feel sorry for me, you don't really want me, I know you don't,' you whispered, the tears starting to roll down your face again. Zayn looked hurt.
 'No, it's not like that at all, I love you so much, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything without you crossing my mind, it's always been you. You're the only one that I want,' he said and your heart started beating fast. All the other boys were still watching you and Zayn but you didn't dare look at them, your eyes stayed fixed on Zayn. 'I need you more than anything, so please, will you be my girlfriend?' Every emotion under the sun was rushing through your head. Of course you wanted to be Zayn's girlfriend, you wanted it more than anything, and he might want you too. But what if he didn't? What if the boys had just told him to go out with you so that you didn't harm yourself again? What if he was going to break up with you when you was strong again?
 'He's telling the truth you know?' Louis said. You looked over to him and you could tell that he had been crying. They all had. You didn't know that they cared about you that much. You slowly turned your head to look at Louis. 'He's not joking. He's felt like this for years, for the whole time we've known you, and we've known that you like him. We didn't mean for you to get that upset that you would try to end your life. We never, ever want that to happen, we love you too much,' he said as another tear escaped your eye.
 'It's not what you said Lou, I've just had so much going on lately I just felt like I didn't want to be here anymore,' you whispered, telling them the truth.
 'No,' Zayn whispered in a short breath as he pulled you into his chest. 'I'm not having you think that. Not now, not ever. You are far too important to me, you are to never harm yourself, do you hear me?' he whispered into your hair. You pulled your head of Zayn's chest and again looked up at Zayn.
 'I promise,' you told him.
 'Good,' he whispered as he lowered his lips to yours. You felt his moist lips meet yours and a smile swept across your face. You pulled back from him and your head fell to his chest. You turned to face the boys and they were all there, smiling at you and Zayn. Maybe they were right? You didn't really want to leave this world just yet. Especially since things with Zayn were finally coming together. Maybe you didn't have to end your life after all? Maybe, just maybe?

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